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How to Scrub Yourself from the Internet

The UC-Davis scandal has forced us to consider whether or not you can truly scrub anything from the internet.

According to a report in the Sacramento Bee, The University of California, Davis has caused a viral uproar after word got out that they paid $175,000 to consultants to clean up its online reputation stemming from a November 2011 incident in which campus police pepper-sprayed peaceful protesters.

So what did we learn from this travesty? You know, other than to think twice before blasting kids in the face with the chemical fire of a thousand suns? Well first and foremost, the consultants failed, which I find shocking after a near flawless track record in my personal experience, but this situation begs us to consider whether or not you can truly scrub anything from the internet.

According to the Associated Press, you have options, but no assurances that any will really work.

Multiple services offer reputation control. For the low-low price of $6300, ICMediaDirect will clean up your reputation by flooding the system, pushing down your undesirable search results by populating Google with the good stuff.

Though this might be easy to do on your own with an investment in Google AdWords pushing people to your charitable works, non-partisan haikus, and politically correct stance on work-appropriate physical contact.

This is all much easier in Europe, where you can exercise your "right to be forgotten," which consists of little more than a form and the links you want taken down.

I suppose that this could all be prevented if people simply took a moment to think before they tweeted, posted, or commented. Always remember, once it's online, it's there forever.

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