Look Out for the Airline ‘Reclination’ Fee
By Mike Botta
Bad enough that we have pilots a) sleeping, b) arguing, c) playing with their laptops d) doing things portrayed in the old “Airplane” movies, e) all of the above while cruising at 30,000 feet, but the madness that has overtaken air travel is at times comical.
- Fees for the first bag
- Fees for the second bag
- Fees for bags over 50 pounds
- Fees for aisle seats
- Fees for emergency row seating
- No pillows
- No meals
- No cell phones
- No movies
- Unusable frequent flyer miles
- Disappearing frequent flyer mileage
- Barking security agents
- Grouchy flight attendants
- Reclining seats that forever bond complete strangers
- _____________________ (fill in the blanks)
It used to be that the worst part of flying coast to coast was the kid kicking your seat from behind, the seatmate who wouldn’t shut up or the baby wailing from L.A. to JFK after a long, tough business day. Now, those are the enjoyable parts of flying the angry skies.
FAA Updates Seat Rule
Which brings us to the FAA. Under a new rule that went into effect last Wednesday, all large passenger aircraft manufactured going forward must be equipped with seats that meet new FAA standards.
Known as Rule 16g, the requirement calls for passenger and flight-attendant seats to withstand crashes at 16 times the force of gravity, up from the previously required 9g. The aim is to keep passengers from hitting seatbacks and luggage compartments during incidents involving rapid deceleration.
Variations of the rule have been around for some 20 years and experts say most airlines already have 16g-compatible seats on many planes. But, the regulation has helped give rise to the development of everything from seatbelt airbags – ouch -- to calls for more space between rows.
More Space Between Seats?
More space between rows? Heck, we didn’t need the FAA to spend gazillions of taxpayer dollars to tell us that would help.
However, experts say it’s unlikely that airlines will eliminate seats to create more space, and while seatbelt airbags are already in use by nearly 40 airlines, the prospect of added maintenance fees may slow overall growth in that direction.
Still, while such rules and regulations are worthwhile, one hopes that the FAA is also spending a few gazillion dollars on other ideas, such as:
- Flight recorders that last more than 30 minutes
- Replacing black boxes with satellite feeds monitoring gate-to-gate progress
- Video cameras (and alarm clocks) in the cockpit monitored via satellite
- Surveillance cameras in passenger sections to learn from passenger habits during emergencies
- _____________________ (fill in the blanks)
FAA, Airlines Needs to Implement Bonehead Rule
And, while they’re at it, how about spending half a gazillion to expand the 16g seat requirement to prevent boneheads from reclining into the guts of the people sitting directly behind them.
Better yet, let’s save taxpayer dollars. Perhaps the airlines should simply add a “reclination” fee every time the little button on the armrest is pushed. Push the button and pay $2.50 to the airline and $2.50 to the poor S.O.B. sitting behind you.
Win-win. Problem solved.
Remember, you heard it here first.